Have you ever been in a place in your own mind where it scares you? Have you ever thought of things that will haunt you? Maybe even make you afraid of sleeping?
Well I have been afraid for days, It came back and I know it may seem overly dramatic but I can't help it. It has come to a point where I wanted to slit my own wrist. Yes, it is an option for bearing this kind of problem will make you want to take your own life.
Taking ones life is a really scary thing to think of, that is why I made a blog for rants to keep my mind from bursting. There are lots of things going on in my mind right now that even the smallest of negative thoughts are amplified.
In this kind of situation, you will feel alone, hopeless and even lifeless.
You will lose the desire to interact with people and it takes its toll on my chosen career since I am now doing business and it involves interacting with people. So yes, it makes me even more sad to think that I am now failing in the business world.
I still have happy thoughts though, but depressing thoughts are stronger than they ever were.
I would really love to seek help from professionals but I need to save money for that for it costs a lot to seek medical help for depression.
I have been fighting a losing fight if you ask me. I battle depression on a daily basis, it's like my own frenemy (Friend + enemy). It goes with me wherever I go and I hate it.
Right now, I am clueless in regards with what to do with this. Maybe I should carry on with my life knowing that I am feeling so down? Maybe the point of having this kind of situation is for me to suffer, right?
I wish I had some easy explanation as to why I feel like crap. My parents are even confused of my current situation. Sometimes I don't feel like eating and sometimes I feel like eating so much food that it makes me sick to the bones.
Now that is a really confusing thing for someone to undergo through but I know somehow, someday I will survive this mess. I will see the light at the end of this dark tunnel I've been going. I know it.
All I need is to be faithful to a God that he will protect and keep me from harm. . . .
Well I have been afraid for days, It came back and I know it may seem overly dramatic but I can't help it. It has come to a point where I wanted to slit my own wrist. Yes, it is an option for bearing this kind of problem will make you want to take your own life.
Taking ones life is a really scary thing to think of, that is why I made a blog for rants to keep my mind from bursting. There are lots of things going on in my mind right now that even the smallest of negative thoughts are amplified.
In this kind of situation, you will feel alone, hopeless and even lifeless.
You will lose the desire to interact with people and it takes its toll on my chosen career since I am now doing business and it involves interacting with people. So yes, it makes me even more sad to think that I am now failing in the business world.
I still have happy thoughts though, but depressing thoughts are stronger than they ever were.
I would really love to seek help from professionals but I need to save money for that for it costs a lot to seek medical help for depression.
I have been fighting a losing fight if you ask me. I battle depression on a daily basis, it's like my own frenemy (Friend + enemy). It goes with me wherever I go and I hate it.
Right now, I am clueless in regards with what to do with this. Maybe I should carry on with my life knowing that I am feeling so down? Maybe the point of having this kind of situation is for me to suffer, right?
I wish I had some easy explanation as to why I feel like crap. My parents are even confused of my current situation. Sometimes I don't feel like eating and sometimes I feel like eating so much food that it makes me sick to the bones.
Now that is a really confusing thing for someone to undergo through but I know somehow, someday I will survive this mess. I will see the light at the end of this dark tunnel I've been going. I know it.
All I need is to be faithful to a God that he will protect and keep me from harm. . . .
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